Thanksgiving Eve 2010

Here I am, the night before Thanksgiving. My husband and I are hosting it this year.... the first time ever! Right now I'm cleaning, but by "cleaning" I'm really playing around with the centerpiece and eating a poptart. I have a lot of prior Thanksgivings to live up to, but I feel this is a good year for us to have it. There's so much for us to be thankful for this year. I don't even know where to begin... I think that if I wrote a book I would not be able to list everything.


I'll start by saying that I'm thankful for May 22 - when I married my best friend. I'm so thankful for him - words cannot really even begin to express it. I love you, honey!
I'm thankful for family -- without which, I wouldn't be where I am today.


Like I said, I'd be here all day if I tried to list everything, but I'll let Josh Groban sing us all a Thanksgiving song.


Happy Thanksgiving!!!

A New Day - A New Song

Once again, my mood can only be described by music.

I've been a weird mood - so anxious that I can barely sit still or focus on my work.  Ahh, ce la vie!

Well, here's the song that matches my mood for the moment:

Thought of the Day:Music

I have always loved, adored music.  Music can say what words cannot.  Lyric-less music has a way of meaning more than a word or two.  I don't know how, and I cannot fathom the power behind music but I know it is there. 


Music is emotional, it is support, it is sustenance in a dry world. It is a passion. Real, true music (not pre-packaged commercialized music that is produced just to make profit) can change your life. 


Music has always been a part of me.  I remember when I was little, my family would take 11-hour car trips down to Georgia to visit family. I loved those car rides.  I know it seems crazy to love being stuck in a car for 11 hours, but it was glorious. The ride was beautiful and somehow mystic.  We drove for hours down winding, tree-lined roads.  I could feel the earth come alive!  I would blast my walkman and just stare out the window, letting the music guide my thoughts. 


In fourth or fifth grade, I remember laying on the living room floor all afternoon, listening to classical music - Pachabel in Canon D - vowing that would be my wedding song, which it was. 


During a tough breakup after high school, music was so emotional - listening to one song would bring a deluge of tears. 


Music got me through a growing/learning phase in college.  


Traveling abroad, I relied on the comforts of my music in new places.  Because I listened to certain music so much, it became a soundtrack for my journeys.  Those songs still conjure up images of my explorations and wanderlusts. 


Lately, I have been wanting to take up piano again. I learned a little while I was in 8th grade, and the desire to play and learn more has overtaken me.  


All of that brings me to my point: lately, I have had this desire so strong to express certain thoughts and feelings but words are failing me.  The only way I can do it is through music.   


This song in particular says what I am trying to say: 

Lesson #5

Sometimes the answer is staring you in the face... you just have to open your eyes.  

Cliche, but true. 




A not-so-cliche way to phrase it: the classic case of The Purloined Letter.  See Poe. 




The hard part: learning how to open your eyes... a skill everyone needs to work on.  It's not as easy as you might think to see that purloined letter sitting right in your kitchen.  

Letter #10: To Someone I Don't Talk to as Much as I'd Like

A letter to someone who I don’t talk to as much as I’d like:

It’s funny (and sad) to see how much time and distance can change things.  I miss talking to you as much as I did.  In some bizarre fate of twist, I know that I would not be where I am without you.  You see, we really are connected in a tangled and intricate web.  The ripples we make in the water affect everyone.  As the saying goes, “The fluttering of a butterfly's wings can effect climate changes on the other side of the planet” (Paul Erlich.)  You may think we are not connected but we are.  When I look back at pictures, I am happy.  We needed each other.  I know distance and time may only grow more, but never doubt that I am your friend.

You’ll never know how much it meant to me that you came to my wedding.  Thank you, friend. 

Letter #9: Letter to Someone I Wish I Could Meet

To Someone I Wish I Could Meet in Person,

I suppose this might be obvious for whom this letter is written.  Anyway, when I was little I used to think that is was unfair that not everyone got to meet You in person.  I remember I was in first grade and I wondered what it would be like to meet You – would You be intimidating or would You be so loving that it seemed like we were friends for a long, long time.  What would our conversations be like?  Old friends or new acquaintances?

I’m not in first grade anymore yet I still wonder – would it be like friends or like strangers meeting for the first time.  I think the best analogy would be like when pen pals meet for the first time.  You have this knowledge of the other person but something is different when you meet in the physical realm for the first time.

Anyway, one day, I hope, we’ll meet and I know it will be completely better than the first-grade me thought. 

A Brief Respite

We went to Starved Rock, IL last Sunday (which was Halloween).  It was the best part of the week, month, semester.  It was absolutely gorgeous.  

There's something about being completely surrounded by wilderness that absolutely captivates me.  It frees my mind and I am calmed.  I feel so little in the woods yet so protected and safe. 

We had a picnic in the Lodge and then hit the trails.  Near the end of our day, just twilight was breaking, we saw a few deer.... a few 3 feet away from us. We just stood still and watched them eat and graze.  Finally, they passed us and went on their merry way.  As the sun set, the forest began to grow more and more alive.  

I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.  

~John Muir, 1913, in L.M. Wolfe, ed.,John Muir, John of the Mountains:  The Unpublished Journals of John Muir, 1938

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.  

~Lao Tzu

Reflections of a Different Me

College graduation is in just about a month... 


I think back to the last time I graduated.  It was high school, I was 18... I feel like I am worlds apart from that girl who walked the stage in 2006. When I was 18, I thought I knew what I wanted, I thought I knew myself, I thought I knew where I was going.  Funny how our "great" plans change so much.  However, I am extremely happy that my 18 year old "great" plan did not happen the way I thought it would.  Funny how things may change - things we may never see happening - but then those are things we cherish the most - the decisions that really shape us into who we are. 


I can say that I know myself infinitely better than I did on that hot June day in 2006, but there's still more to me to learn.